19+ mexican jokes

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German – mexican jokes

The tribe haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “And what do you want on your back?”

The Mexican bravely says, “I will take nothing!” and he stands there straight and takes his whipping without flinching.
Finally, the tribe ask the American, “And what will you take on your back?”

He replies, “I’ll take the Mexican.”

parrot – mexican jokes

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, “Hey that’s really neat. Where did you get it?” The parrot responds, “In the jungle, there’s millions of them.”

priest – mexican jokes

There was a redneckwho hit every black man he saw with his truck. One day he saw a priest walking down the road and thought, “For all the bad things I done, let me give this priest a ride.” So he picked the priest up and they drove along. The redneck saw a black guy down the road and decided he would pretend to fall asleep and so the priest would think it was an accident. The redneck closed his eyes and heard a loud bang. “What happened?” he asked. “You missed him,” the priest said, “but I got him with the door.”

jumping on the bed – mexican jokes

How do you get the little black kids to stop jumping on the bed? Put Velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down? Tell the Mexican kids it’s a piñata.

can’t do anything – mexican jokes

What do you call a Mexican that can’t do anything?

A Mexican’t.

basketball – mexican jokes

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against one another?

Juan on Juan.

cross the border – mexican jokes

Why don’t Mexicans cross the border in threes?

Because it says “No Trespassing”.

explorers – mexican jokes

There are two American explorers and a Mexican explorer exploring together in Africa when they stumble upon a long-lost tribe.

The chief of the tribe says to the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they will be killed.

Fortunately, the Chief tells them that they are allowed to choose their own fruit to be shoved up them.

The two Americans sensibly pick small berries and the Chief duly shoves them up their butts.

To the Chief’s surprise they both burst out laughing and so he cuts their heads off.

When the two Americans get to heaven, God asks them why on earth they laughed.

The Americans reply, “Just as he shoved the fruit up our butts we heard the Mexican pick a watermelon.”

quicksand – mexican jokes

What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?

Cuatro Cinco.

kind of cans – mexican jokes

What kind of cans are there in Mexico?

Mexicans.

traveling – mexican jokes

These three men are traveling through the Amazon – a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by a tribe who tell them that they are going to be whipped on the back.

The chief of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?”

The German replies, “I will take oil!”

So the tribe put oil on his back, and a large member of the tribe whips him ten times.

When he is finished the German has huge welts and sores on his back, and is in so much pain that he can hardly move.

Mario – mexican jokes

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He’s an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

four men – mexican jokes

On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, “This is for all my people” and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy’s turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and then throws the white guy off the roof.

thousand Mexicans – mexican jokes

Why were there only two thousand Mexicans at the battle of the Alamo?

Because they only had two trucks.

bungee – mexican jokes

Two Americans decide to start a bungee jumping business in Mexico.

They’re almost done setting up on a bridge by a city but first they have to test to see if the cord will work.

So one of the men ties the cord to himself, jumps off, and comes back up with scratches on his face.

So they get a shorter cord and the same guy tests it again.

Before he jumps, the entire city are standing at the bottom, staring up at him, with brooms in their hands.

He jumps and this time he comes back up with bruises and a broken bone.

The other guy says to him, “I thought that would be the perfect length that time.”

The other guy that jumped replies, “It was. By the way, what the hell is a pinata?”

green cards – mexican jokes

Why don’t you play Uno with Mexicans?

Because they take all the green cards.

Chinese girl – mexican jokes

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

interview – mexican jokes

Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?”
Man: “Yes!”
Reporter: “Name?”
Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim.”
Reporter: “Sex?”
Man: “Three to five times a week.”
Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?”
Man: “Yes, male, female… sometimes camel.”
Reporter: “Holy cow!”
Man: “Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general.”
Reporter: “But isn’t that hostile?”
Man: “Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.”
Reporter: “Oh dear!”
Man: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”

Jewish – mexican jokes

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

blindfold – mexican jokes

How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.

accidentally pulls – mexican jokes

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

favorite sport- mexican jokes

What is a Mexican’s favorite sport? Cross-country.

Mexican man on a plane – mexican jokes

There is a black man, a white man, and a Mexican man on a plane that is too heavy to fly and they are about to crash. They each have to throw something off the plane to save them from crashing. The black man throws out his Jordan shoes and says, “We have too many in our country.” The Mexican tosses out his lawn mower and says, “We have too many in our country.” The white man puts his item down, grabs the Mexican, throws him out the window and says, “We have too many in our country.”

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