22+ comedy jokes in english

latest comedy jokes :- here we provide comedy jokes, funny comedy jokes,best comedy jokes, top comedy jokes etc. keep enjoy keep laughing.
Scrappy – comedy jokes

Boy To Girl: “I Bet I Can Make You Say “I Love You”

Girl: “Its Impossible.”

Boy: “Ok, Lets Try! Say Abra Ka Dabra”

Girl Hanste Hue: “Abra Ka Dabra.”

Boy: “Say Scrappy Coco.”

Girl Confuse: “Scrappy Coco.”

Boy: “Say Love.”

Girl: “Love.”

Boy: “What 2+2”

Girl: “4”

Boy: “How Old Are You?”

Girl: “18”

Boy: “Haha!! I Told You I Could Make You Say 18.”

Girl: “No, You Said You Could Make Me Say I Love You.”

Boy: “Yes, I Did It.“

Researchers – comedy jokes

Researchers Now Believe That Raavan Cannot Be Evil,

One Who Takes Away Your Wife Can Only Be An Angel.

Having A Drink – comedy jokes

Three Friends Were Having A Drink In A Bar. A Conversation About Coincidences Arose.

The 1st Guy Said: “When My Wife Was Pregnant She Read The Novel The 2 Cities And Gave Birth To Twins.”

The 2nd Guy Said: “My Wife Read The 3 Musketeers And Gave Birth To Triplets.”

The 3rd Guy Started Running Heading Home, Friends Asked: “Why?”

He Said In Hurry: “My Wife Is Pregnant And I Left Her Reading Alibaba And The 40 Thieves.“

Beginning Of Any Relationship – comedy jokes

Philosophy Of Life:

At The Beginning Of Any Relationship,

Every Girl Feels Her Boyfriend Is GOD.

Later On Somehow The Alphabets Get Reversed.

Little Boy – comedy jokes

A Little Boy Says To Girl “I Love U“?

But She Says She Likes Someone Else,

The Little Boy Looks Down In Sad Mood,

And After Few Seconds Looks Up At Her,

With Eyes Filled With Tears And Emotes,

All His Feelings By Saying Just Simple Beautiful Word Ever .. .. .. Kutttttttttttiii

Opposite A Church – comedy jokes

A Bar Opened Opposite A Church!

The Church Prayed Daily Against The Bar Business

Days Later The Bar Was Struck By Lightning & Caught Fire Which Destroyed It.

Bar Owner Sued The Church Authorities For The Cause Of Its Destruction,

As It Was An Action Because Of Their Prayer, The Church Denied All Responsibility!

So, The Judge Commented,

“It’s Difficult To Decide The Case

Because

Here We Have A Bar Owner Who Believes In The Power Of Prayer

&

An Entire Church That Doesn’t Believe In It !”

scientists – comedy jokes

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of the launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket made all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.

Finally, Manjit, a Sardar offered to help. The NASA scientists were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.

‘Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right,’ said Manjit in a serious voice. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.

‘Bring it back to vertical position, the Manjit added. The engineers did.

‘Now start the engines,’ instructed Manjit. The rocket took off and flew into space. Everybody thanked and congratulated Manjit and asked him how he knew what to do.

He replied, ‘It is very simple. This is what we always do with our Bajaj scooters in India.’

hanging onto a rope – comedy jokes

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope which was hanging from a from an aeroplane. Ten were Sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, then the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, ‘I’ll get off,’ and she made a really moving speech.

All of the Sardars started immediately applauding.

Not Barking – comedy jokes

One Day 5 Years Little Kid Ask To His Mom

Kid: “Mommy, Why I am Black & You Are White?

Mom Replied: “Listen Son, Considering All The Crazy Things I Did Years Ago, You Should Be Thankful To God That You Are Not Barking.“

deliver this packet – comedy jokes

Postman: I have had to walk 5 miles to deliver this packet.
Aneel: Why did walk so far? You could have posted it.

new mobile – comedy jokes

Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone in his Phone Book and told them: “My mobile number has changed, earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is 6710”

Jasbir visits an art gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror.

Santa: I am a most proud Sardar, My son is in medical college.
Banta: Really, what is he studying?

Santa: No is not studying, they are studying him.Sardar Cricket Jokes

Salary Expected – comedy jokes

Santa was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to put in the column “Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote : Yes, please.

slept all night – comedy jokes

Sadhu : I haven’t slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?

Sadhu: I had an upper berth.
Friend: Why didn’t you exchange it?
Sadhu: There was nobody in the lower bunk to change it with.

best of best – comedy jokes

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww… Yes!!!

Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No…

Girl: I am the principal’s daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No…

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”

Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”
Brunette: “I don’t know.”
Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”

A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?” The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”

A brunette goes into a doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette are you?” She says, “No, I dyed my hair. I’m naturally blonde.” “I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”

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