Latest Funny hindi jokes

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महिला के व्रत – Latest Funny hindi jokes

महिला के व्रत से प्रसन्न होकर भगवान प्रगट हुए और उस महिला से पाँच वरदान माँगने को कहा:

महिला: मेरा पति मेरे बिना कहीं न जाए…!

मेरे पति के जीवन में मुझसे ज्यादा महत्वपूर्ण कुछ न हो…!

उसे नींद तभी आये जब मैं उसके बगल में होऊं…!

जब सुबह उसकी आँख खुले वो सबसे पहले मुझे देखें…!

अगर मुझे एक छोटी सी खरोंच भी आ जाए तो वो दर्द से कराह उठें…!

भगवान ने कहा तथास्तु…! और वो औरत एक स्मार्ट फोन में बदल गयी…!🤔🤔😎

मैं तेरी जान – Latest Funny hindi jokes

यमराज: मैं तेरी जान लेने आया हूँ…!

ले जाइये, पड़ोस वाली सोसायटी में रहती है…!🤣🤣

पेपर में Add – Latest Funny hindi jokes

आज पेपर में Add था…!

एक साडी लो और 50% बचाओ, मैंने पेपर ही फाड़ डाला और 100% बचाए…!😎

पत्नी के साथ – Latest Funny hindi jokes

कवि अपनी पत्नी के साथ बैठकर टीवी देख रहा था, तभी उसकी प्रेमिका का मिसकॉल आया और कवि ने मैसैज भेजकर उसे जवाब दिया:

हवा की लहर बनकर, तूं मेरी खिड़की न खटखटा…! मैं बन्द दरवाजे में तूफान समेटे बैठा हूँ…!👌👌

 

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पत्नी टेबल पर – Latest Funny hindi jokes

पत्नी टेबल पर चढ़ कर घर साफ करते करते यह गाना गा रही थी…!

पत्नी: अगर तुम मिल जाओ… जमाना छोड़ देंगे हम…!

पति: अगर तुम गिर जाओ… दूसरी ढूंढ लेंगे हम…!

(पति हॉस्पिटल में ऐडमिट है)😅

आर्यभट्ट बैठे-बैठे – Latest Funny hindi jokes

एक दिन आर्यभट्ट बैठे-बैठे ऐसे रिश्तेदार गिन रहे थे,
जो बुरे वक्त पे काम आए…!

बस वहीं से शून्य की खोज हुई …!😁

स्वर्ग में या नरक – Latest Funny hindi jokes

यमराज: बेटी बता कहाँ जाओगी…! स्वर्ग में या नरक में…!

लड़की: धरती से बस मेरा मोबाइल व चार्जर मंगवा दो…! मैं तो कहीं भी रह लुंगी…!😎

पत्नी ने अंगुली से – Latest Funny hindi jokes

पत्नी ने अंगुली से इशारा कर पति को बुलाया…!

पति: हाँ… बोलो, क्या काम है…!

पत्नी: कुछ नहीं बस… अंगुली की ताक़त ज़रा चेक कर रही थी…!☺😐😶

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रिक्शा वाले की लड़की – Latest Funny hindi jokes

रिक्शा वाले की लड़की सिल्वर मेडल लाई…! रिक्शा वाले का बेटा C A बना…! रिक्शा वाले की बेटी को 99 परसेंट आये…!

ये खबरें पढ़ के मेरे बच्चे जिद कर रहे हैं कि पापा आप भी रिक्शा लेलो…!☺😐😙😶

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latest_funny_hindi_jokes
काम वाली बाई – Latest Funny hindi jokes

काम वाली बाई का स्टेटमेंट:

साब को राखी बांधा तो सिर्फ़ 50 रुपये दिए…!

पर मेमसाब ने ख़ुशी के मारे 5100 दे दिया…!😐😊🙂😊

सुबह बीबी से- Latest Funny hindi jokes

सुबह बीबी से बीस मिनट खरी खोटी सुनने के बाद 10 मिनट कस्टमर केअर वाली से बात की…! तब जाकर फिर से सेल्फ रिस्पैक्ट महसूस हुई…!☺😐☺

पप्पू को बिड़ी पीने की लत – Latest Funny hindi jokes

पप्पू को बिड़ी पीने की लत छुड़वाने के लिये उसके पिता ने उसे योगा क्लास में भर्ती करवाया…!

पप्पू अब पाँव से भी बिड़ी पीने लगा है…!☺🤣🤣🤣

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बीबी और गर्लफ्रेंड – Latest Funny hindi jokes

लड़की: बीबी और गर्लफ्रेंड में क्या फर्क होता है…?

लड़का: यही कोई 20 किलो का…!🤔

मास्टरजी: “दु:ख तो अपना साथी है, सुख तो आता जाता है…!”

अर्थ स्पष्ट करो…!

छात्र: ”बीवी हमेंशा घर में होती है, साली आती जाती है…!”😁😁😁😋

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Latest Funny hindi jokes -best jokes

बहुत साल पहले मुझे एक बाबा ने कहा था कि बेटा उपरवाला तुझे इतना देगा कि संभाला नहीं जाएगा…!

पर मुझे आज ज्ञान हुआ कि वो Whatsapp Messages की बात कर रहा था…!🤣🤣🤣

शादी के मंडप में दुल्हन को सिर झुकाये बैठी देख एक बुज़ुर्ग महिला बोली: दुल्हन कितनी सुशील व संस्कारी है…! जब से बैठी है सिर नीचे झुकाये हुवे है…! एक बार भी नज़र उठाकर नहीं देखा…!

पीछे से आवाज़ आयी: माँजी…! दुल्हन Facebook पर Online है…!🤣🤣🤣

टीचर : अगर कोई गर्ल्स हास्टल की तरफ गया तो ₹100
फाइन …! दूसरी बार गया तो ₹ 200 फाइन औऱ तीसरी बार सीधा 500 का फाइन लगेगा…!

स्टूडैंट : सर जी ! जे हमने मंथली पास बनवाना हो तो कितणे का बण ज्यावैगा…!🤣🤣🤣

एक आदमी पहाड़ी के रास्ते से जा रहा था, अचानक उसको एक आवाज आयी, रुको…!

वो रुक गया और जैसे ही वो रुका उसके सामने एक बड़ी सी चट्टान गिरी… और वो बाल बाल बच गया…!

उसने ‘आवाज’ का शुक्रिया किया और आगे बढा…!

कुछ देर बाद फ़िर वही आवाज आयी, रुको…!

वो रुक गया, तभी उसके बगल से एक कार बड़ी तेजी से गुजर गयी और वो फिर से बाल बाल बच गया…!

उसने फ़िर ‘आवाज’ का शुक्रिया अदा किया और पूछा: आप कौन हैं भाई, जो बार बार मेरी जान बचा रहे हैं…!

आवाज आयी: हिफाजत करने वाला फरिश्ता…!

उसने दोबारा शुक्रिया अदा किया और रोते हुए पूछा: शादी के वक्त आप कहां थे भाई…?

जवाब आया: आवाज़ तो उस वक्त भी लगाई थी… लेकिन ‘डी.जे.’ बज रहा था…!🤣🤣🤣

डाक्टर महिला मरीज से: आपका हीमोग्लोबिन कम है, आपमें आयरन की कमी है, आप में कैल्शियम की कमी है, और विटामिन डी की भी कमी है, आपमें…..!

महिला मरीज: बस डाक्टर, रहने दो, इतनी कमियाँ तो मेरी सास ने भी नहीं नकाली मुझमे…!🤣🤣🤣

Facebook पर कितने ही दोस्त बना लो…

गैस सिलेंडर खत्म होने पर पड़ोसी ही काम आते हैं…!🤣🤣🤣

पप्पू बरफ का टुकडा हाथ में लेकर गौर से उसे देख रहा था… किसीने पुछा, क्या देख रहे हो…!

पप्पू: देख रहा हूँ कि लीक कहाँ से हो रहा है…!🤣🤣🤣

दुकान के बाहर पति बड़े ग़ौर से बोर्ड पर सुंदर लड़की का मिक्सर ग्राइंडर के साथ फोटो देख रहा था…!

पत्नी बड़ी ही नम्रतापूर्वक बोली… घर चलिए… एक्सचेंज ऑफर सिर्फ ‘मिक्सर’ पर है…!🤣🤣🤣

मेहमान को ग्रीन टी पिलाने के फायदे :

1. रिच लगते हैं…!
2. दूध का खर्चा बचता है…!
3. साथ में बिस्कुट नही देने पड़ते…!
4. दूबारा नही मांगता…!
5. हो सकता है कि दूबारा आये भी नही…!

ये दो बाते कभी मेरे समझ नहीं आयी…!

एक तरफ महिलाएं कहती है कि “पुरुष मूर्ख होते हैं”…!

और दूसरी तरफ ये भी कहती है कि “हम पुरुषों से कम नहीं”…!🤣🤣🤣

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