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Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick: “What school?”
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
- Man: How did you compromise with your wife?Husband: She came to me on her feet.Man: and what she said?Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything…
- A boy said to a girl:-“Come in my heart and stay here forever”.Girl replied:-“Should i remove my sleepers???”boy,”No honey, its not a temple , come without removing!!!!!”
Bus conductor: Why are taking two tickets?
Passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
Conductor: what if you lose both?
Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool. I already have my Pass with me.!!!