jokes in english

english-jokes
english-jokes

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  • Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”

    Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

    Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

    Patrick: “What school?”

  • My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away

  • A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

    The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

  • Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”

    Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”

    Doctor: “Nine.”

  • Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

    Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

  • Man: How did you compromise with your wife?
    Husband: She came to me on her feet.
    Man: and what she said?
    Husband: i was down to bad and she said come out, i will not say you anything…

     

  • A boy said to a girl:-“Come in my heart and stay here forever”.
    Girl replied:-“Should i remove my sleepers???”
    boy,”No honey, its not a temple , come without removing!!!!!”

     

  • Bus conductor: Why are taking two tickets?
    Passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
    Conductor: what if you lose both?
    Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool. I already have my Pass with me.!!!

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