English jokes 2023 | jokes in english | eng jokes 2023-2024

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english-jokes

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Funny Jokes In English
Funny Jokes In English

recent jokes in english

  • incredible Sulk

    What is green and sits crying in the corner?

    The incredible Sulk.

  • honey look really different

    Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today. Did you do something to your hair?

    Wife: Michael, I’m over here!
    😋😋

  • a great new drug

    Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”

    Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

    Doctor: “Every two hours.”

  • What did the grape

    What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

  • piano by ear

    I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands

  • Olympic medals

    Mexico doesn’t win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

  • a farmer near a field

    A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

    The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

  • robber sticks

    A robber sticks his gun in a Scotsman’s ribs and demands, “Your money or your life!” When after a moment there is no answer, he repeats his demand, “Your money or your life!” to which the Scotsman replies, “I’m thinking it over!”

  • a black girl

    Q: How does a black girl tell if she is pregnant? A: When she pulls the tampon out all the cotton is picked.

  • The United States

    Brunette: “Where were you born?”
    Blonde: “The United States.”
    Brunette: “Which part?”
    Blonde: “My whole body.”

  • how many times

    Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?

    Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.

    Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?

    Man: No, I’m a barber.

  • white people running down

    Q: What do you call white people running down a hill?
    A: An avalanche.
    Q: What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
    A: A mudslide.
    Q: What do you call black people running down a hill?
    A: A jail break.

  • Becoming a vegetarian

    Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak.

  • Santa reading newspaper

    Santa reading newspaper..
    News: “Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump”
    Santa comments: Idiot !! Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!
    😁😁🤣😁

  • I love cheese

    Why do I love cheese? For starters, it’s pretty grate.

  • redhead are running

    A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, “Woof woof!” The cop thinks it’s a dog, so he walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, “Meow meow!” The cop believes it’s a cat and moves on. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, “Potato potato!”

  • sell curtains

    Santa enters a shop that sell curtains. He announces to Gurdaya, the salesman, ‘I would like to buy a pair of green curtains.’

    The salesman assures him that they had a large selection of green curtains. Gurdaya shows him several patterns, but Santa seems to be having a hard time choosing.

    Finally, he selects a smashing green floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he requires.

  • bicycle stand up

    Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired

  • go for movie

    Santa: Let’s go for movie.
    Banta: Shit, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment today..
    Santa: Just cancel it,Tell him you’re sick
    😋😋😋😁

  • really mad

    My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!

  • finished a jigsaw

    Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, “two to four years.”

  • My wife suffers

    “My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”

    “Oh is she an alcoholic?”

    “No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”

  • How was school today

    Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”

    Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

    Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

    Patrick: “What school?”

  • ocean say

    What did the ocean say to the beach?” “Nothing, it just waved

  • wear necklaces

    Q: Why do Italian men wear necklaces?
    A: To let them know where to stop shaving.